When you feel like you have been wronged, letting go of anger is hard. But it is worth it. Experts from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health say studies have found that forgiveness may lower levels of depression, anxiety and hostility. It’s also linked to reduced substance abuse, higher self-esteem and greater life satisfaction. On the flip side, holding on to negative feelings can harm to your health.
When study participants were asked to forgive those who wronged them, neuroscientists found that three important parts of the brain that generate compassion and understanding were activated. When you start to forgive, the brain becomes better able to stop dwelling on hurt and instead to focus on more positive experiences, according to Inc.
Forgiveness becomes more about you and no longer about the other person and gives you back your power. For some people—especially men—forgiveness is hard, notes Tyler VanderWeele, co-director of the Initiative on Health, Spirituality, and Religion at Harvard. "Yet, when you learn to forgive, you are no longer trapped by the past actions of others and can finally feel free."
One of the best ways to practice forgiveness is the REACH method: Recall, Emphasize, Altruistic gift, Commit and Hold. These steps can help you navigate the challenging process of forgiveness and experience the associated health benefits.
Here’s a closer look at these five steps:
Recall: Bring to mind the hurtful event objectively, without focusing on your feelings of anger or resentment.
Emphasize: Try to understand the perspective of the person who wronged you and consider their situation and motives.
Altruistic gift: Recognize forgiveness as a gift you are offering to the offender, inspired by the times you have been forgiven.
Commit: Make a conscious decision to forgive and stick to it, perhaps by writing it down or telling a friend.
Hold: Hold on to your forgiveness and remind yourself of your decision when old feelings of hurt resurface.