Here’s everything you need to know about the Republican healthcare bill, as reported by the mainstream media:
1. The GOP hates poor people. Its leaders hold late-night meetings in dark, smoke-filled rooms, and concoct devious schemes to squeeze every last penny from low-income folks, and give it to rich (caucasian) Wall Street tycoons. Healthcare reform is an excuse to steal from the poor and give to the wealthy. Sure, the rich are the biggest losers under Obamacare, and President Trump was elected to repeal it and undo the damage. But that’s beside the point.
2. Republicans are determined to knock millions of people off health insurance, especially minorities, children, and disabled people. If they could, they would force cute, fuzzy puppies off Medicaid as well.
3. Republicans despise old people. They believe the country is overpopulated with seniors, and they want to skyrocket their premiums and bring them closer to death. Do elderly people require much more care than everyone else, and put a major strain on the system? Technically yes. But please don’t confuse us with the facts.
4. The GOP is out to get people with pre-existing conditions. (Especially rich newborns named Kimmel.) It has nothing to do with the fact that people with pre-existing conditions voluntarily took a risk, and it makes sense to charge them a somewhat higher premium than folks who thought ahead and paid for coverage while they were healthy. Nope. That’s not why Republicans want them to pay extra. It’s a vast right-wing conspiracy. Trust us. We’re sure of it.
5. Most Republican voters don’t want Trumpcare to pass. The proof is, when Republican voters were asked if they want the bill to pass in its current form, they said no, they would prefer the bill be improved first. Is it possible that, like Rand Paul, R-Ky., Mike Lee, R-Utah, Ted Cruz, R-Texas, and the House Freedom Caucus, they want the bill to become even more conservative? Technically, yes. You see, the question they were asked was not, "Would you like the bill to be more liberal?" It was Would you like the bill to be improved?"
But we’re the unbiased mainstream media — we know better. When voters say they want it "improved," they mean they don’t like the bill because it’s too conservative.
6. Barack Obama genuinely tried to help the country by passing Obamacare. It had nothing to do with politics. Yes, he created the worst healthcare system in history. Just a few years after taking effect, it is already collapsing. Insurance companies are hemorrhaging hundreds of millions of dollars, abandoning health exchanges left and right. Premiums and deductibles are at astronomical levels. All because Obama forced his plan, almost unilaterally, down the throats of the American people, despite the objections of both Republicans and Democrats.
But he didn’t do it for his legacy. He didn’t do it to spread his extreme, radical, political ideology. Nor did he do it to please his liberal base, and his Hollywood supporters (such as Jimmy Kimmel.) Nope. He did it because he cares. We’re the mainstream media, and we have no biases. These are the cold, hard facts. Plain and simple.
Josh Margulies is the host of "Politics: Clear and Simple," a daily podcast offering analysis with an intellectual, conservative perspective. He has worked as an intern for the "Imus in the Morning" program, and has hosted several online political talk shows. Josh is currently a digital marketing consultant. He has assisted companies like Lockheed Martin, Netflix, and Bloomberg. Josh is also an ordained Rabbi who has studied Talmudic law. To read more of his reports, Click Here Now.