The 23-year-old transgender shooter who killed two children and wounded 17 others at a Minneapolis Catholic school Wednesday, reportedly left behind a handwritten journal in which he expressed regret over his sex change.
"I only keep [the long hair] because it is pretty much my last shred of being trans. I am tired of being trans, I wish I never brain-washed myself," the shooter wrote, according to the New York Post's translation of the manifesto.
The suicidal and homicidal shooter, 23, who was found dead in the school parking lot from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, wanted to be known as Robin Westman after being born a boy called Robert.
The journal, posted on YouTube before the massacre, also contained further reflections on his identity.
"I can't cut my hair now as it would be [an] embarrassing defeat, and it might be a concerning change of character that could get me reported," Westman wrote. "It just always gets in my way. I will probably chop it on the day of the attack.
In other passages, Westman vacillated on gender identity.
"I don't want to dress girly all the time but I guess sometimes I really like it," Westman wrote. "I know I am not a woman but I definitely don't feel like a man."
The Post further reported Westman's writings revealed violent fantasies, including a desire to be "the scary horrible monster standing over those powerless kids," as well as praise for the Sandy Hook school massacre.
Videos posted under his name also showed phrases like "kill Donald Trump" and "for the children" scrawled on gun magazines.
Authorities say Westman legally purchased the rifle, shotgun, and pistol used in the attack, and the FBI is investigating the case as an act of domestic terrorism and a hate crime targeting Catholics.
Westman's mother was a secretary at the school before her retirement in 2021.