Emma Caulfield, best known for her roles in "WandaVision" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," said she has multiple sclerosis.
The actor revealed her diagnosis for the first time during a new interview with Vanity Fair and explained why she chose to keep her health struggles private for so long.
Caulfield was diagnosed in 2010 after experiencing numbness in her face.
"It was like an out-of-body experience. I'm like, 'No, that's not possible. What are you talking about?' [The doctor] was very matter of fact about it. 'Well, you can get a second opinion…' It was literally a kind of nightmare," Caulfield said. "I was like, 'Am I dying? How bad? What's happening?' I was so overwhelmed and pretty hysterical."
According to The National Multiple Sclerosis Society, MS "is a disease that impacts the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves," and can cause "unpredictable symptoms such as numbness, tingling, mood changes, memory problems, pain, fatigue, blindness and/or paralysis." MS differs in each case and may be temporary or long-lasting, minor or debilitating.
Speaking about her decision to initially keep her diagnosis private, Caulfield said she "didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to not hire me."
"There are already plenty of reasons to not hire people, reasons most actors don't even know. 'You look like my ex-girlfriend … You're too short. You're too tall. You look mean. You look too nice. You don't have the right color eyes.' I knew in my bones that if you talk about this, you're just going to stop working. That's it," she said.
Caulfield chose to finally break her silence because of her 6-year-old daughter, whom she shares with husband Mark Leslie Ford.
"I'm so tired of not being honest," she said. "And beyond that, my daughter has changed my perspective, as I think anybody who is a parent can attest. I know that she has a 30% greater chance of coming down with this, just luck of the draw for her. She's 6. She's just started first grade ... It got me thinking about her and how full of joy and active she is, and she's just such a remarkable little creature."
Caulfield said she wanted to use her platform as an actor to create awareness.
"Even if it affects my ability to get work … It's better for me to at least be vocal about this and be out there to try to help the MS Foundation and other groups who are doing research," she said.
Caulfield said she is "OK right now."
"It's a weird thing to say when you're given a diagnosis like that, but truthfully, my attitude is not crumbling under the fear of 'what if' or 'what can,' or 'what has' for other people," she said. "I just have to keep going."