Riley Keough has revealed just how debilitating she found her brother's death to be.
A year has passed since Ben Keough, the son of Lisa Marie Presley and grandson of Elvis Presley, died by suicide in July 2020 at age 27, and the months that ensued left Riley feeling as if she was "thrown into the ocean and couldn't swim," she told The New York Times.
"The first four or five months, I couldn't get out of bed," the 32-year-old shared. "I was totally debilitated. I couldn't talk for two weeks."
The pair was extremely close and it was difficult for Riley to wrap her mind around the fact that her brother had taken his own life.
"It's very complicated for our minds to put that somewhere because it’s so outrageous," she continued. "If I'm going through a breakup, I know what to do with that and where to file it in my mind, but suicide of your brother? Where do you put that? How does that integrate? It just doesn't."
Riley found support through her friends and family. She also regained a sense of purpose by becoming a death doula, which is someone who guides a person through the process of death.
"That's really what's helped me, being able to put myself in a position of service," she told the Times. "If I can help other people, maybe I can find some way to help myself."
On the anniversary of her brother's death, Riley wrote about her grief in a heartbreaking Instagram post.
"A year ago this morning was the last time I got to see you," Keough wrote with a throwback photo of her and Ben that she shared on her Instagram stories. "I didn't hug you properly because I thought you had COVID. I wish I'd hugged you properly. I miss you every day."
Ben died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the early hours of July 12, 2020 at the family's luxury home in Calabasas, Calif. It has since emerged that there was a party at the residence and that Ben's girlfriend was reportedly heard hysterically screaming "don't do it" shortly before the 27-year-old died.
Days later, Riley remembered her brother in a heartfelt post shared on Instagram.
"I hope you’re cradled in love. I hope you feel my love. I hope you feel god," she continued. "You are god. I can’t believe you’ve left me. Not you sweet Ben Ben. Anyone but you. I guess this is true heartbreak. I hope we meet again."
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