Loneliness is often related to loss; it can be the loss of a job, an opportunity, or a home.
But one of the most devastating sources of loneliness is the loss of a loved one.
Whether through death or divorce, someone who is newly single and flying solo may experience their daily routine as both isolating and depressing as they go through the motions of reporting to work or school, then returning to an empty home that they once shared with their partner.
Thankfully, there are measures that can alleviate the emotional pain, lift the dark clouds, and transform what some experience as a death march into a confident walk into a bright future.
Research explains:
Alleviating Loneliness and Depression Through Social Support
Zhifei Wen et al. (2024) studied the link between, resilience, social support, loneliness, and depression. They describe loneliness as a "subjective, negative feeling of emotion that refers to the discrepancy between a person's desired and actual level of social relationships."
They define social support as including the experience of love, value, and care from social relationships and recognizing one’s role within a network of mutual obligations.
They found that social support can diminish the adverse impact of stressors on mental health and psychological well-being, and provide a method of coping, to alleviate loneliness and improve mental health.
Although the population they studied was older adults, there is much to learn from their findings. Wen et al. (ibid.) found that loneliness is linked with depression among older adults — but the relationship was mediated by both social support and resilience.
They note that among older adults, loneliness can be generated by the decline of social functioning, which results in an absence of pleasurable social engagements.
Yet social disengagement can occur at any age, for a variety of reasons.
Responding with Resilience
Wen et al. (supra) adopt the APA (American Psychological Association’s) definition of resilience as "the process and outcome of adapting well to adverse life events, especially mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility, and adjustment to external and internal demands."
They recognize resilience as a line of defense for older adults coping with adversity, even citing a study showing that during the SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) pandemic, older adults experienced a higher amount of resilience than young people, allowing them to cope more effectively through emotional, cognitive, and behavioral experiences in crisis.
One of the ways to respond with resilience is to engage with others to enjoy the benefit of social support:
Seeking Social Support
Wen et al. note that loneliness can develop through a lack of perceived closeness or affection, as well as the lack of engagement with a social network.
We can imagine the same type of dynamic would be present within any age group lacking social contacts or social support — such as is often experienced by someone who has lost touch with a social network after being involved with a possessive partner or an otherwise isolating relationship.
Wen et al. (supra) also found gender differences in social support, noting that when a sample population included at least 60% women, there was an increased negative correlation between loneliness and social support, which indicates loneliness among women is more likely to be alleviated through social support than among men — who report less motivation to seek it.
They note that men are more likely to have fixed social relationships, while women participate more social networks and accordingly, receive more support.
As a practical matter, social support and resilience can counteract loneliness at any age.
Whether joining a church, gym, book club, or neighborhood watch association, social connections provide a sense of belonging, which can generate well-being.
In addition to providing pleasurable time with others instead of alone, establishing or re-establishing social connections provides cognitive resilience through rewarding relationships.
This article was originally published in Psychology Today.
Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.