Grandma: Hi, Dr. Laura, I have listened to you for years. We often say, what would Dr. Laura do in this situation? And yesterday, we said that.
My granddaughters Merilyn and Amber are visiting from Atlanta.
They were riding around crazy in our golf cart and crashed into our neighbor’s shed.
How much discipline is appropriate here?
How will they learn a lesson so that when they’re actually driving a car, they don’t kill someone?
Dr Laura: Merilyn, why don’t you tell me what you and your sister did?
Merilyn: We were doing laps around, like, the back of their yard and the neighbor’s shed. And in all honesty, we were not aware that we were not allowed to go around their shed.
We were going a little fast but not even full speed, and we went to slow down.
But we ran into the shed and totally ruined the shed door and the golf cart. Dr. Laura: Who was driving?
Merilyn: I was. My sister was driving for almost the entire time. Then we switched, and on the very fi rst lap that I went to drive on, that’s when we crashed.
Dr. Laura: OK, Amber, you want to add or subtract anything from that story?
Amber: We switched because Merilyn thought I was going way too fast, and I think I was, too. And she just ran into the garage. I think our parents are going to make us pay for everything.
Merilyn: And we don’t know, like, what’s going to happen because we both have homecoming dances coming up and stuff , and it’s the only thing we’ve been talking about for weeks.
Grandma: Well, how do we come up with something to impress upon them how important being responsible is?
Dr. Laura: What's important is that we bring up these young ladies to be fine, honorable adults. Owning what you’ve done wrong, showing true remorse, doing what it takes to repair it, and not repeating it are the hallmarks of a person with character.
And I sure hope that everybody’s focus is on making Merilyn and Amber women of character, not women who know how to go to dances and parties and ball games and all that sort of stuff.
That’s real peripheral in the deep qualities that we need to have a profound life.
So, I think they both need to find some kind of job in the neighborhood stores.
I know one’s only 13; you’ll have to figure that out.
But they’re going to have to work it off , literally work off the expense of fixing grandma’s cart and the next door neighbor’s garage door, etc.
Right now, they’re going to be pissed.
But when it’s done, I believe they will have a sense of pride that they took responsibility and made it right.
And everybody looks at them now and says," Wow, that was really something that you took all those months to take care of something like that. "You’re a person of character."
So, I’m concerned about their character, not their social life and not punishment.
I do not see this as punishment.
I see this as aiding in their development to be quality adults that we all can be proud of and grateful to know.
When you say we only care about the dance and whatever, so what?
It's a trivial thing in life.
At 13 and 15, I do appreciate and understand because I was once 13 and 15.
You’ve never been my age or grandma’s age or your parents’ age.
So, you don’t have a sense of comparison.
But in the span of your life, it’s very trivial. Infinitely more important is taking care of your responsibilities, and this is your responsibility.
And next year your parents are going to be so proud of you guys.
They’re going to be happy to have you go to homecoming.
You will have earned it.
Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET. Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.
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