I’ve always loved doing book signings (assuming enough people show up, so I don’t feel bad) because I enjoy and am touched by the families that stand in line to meet and interact with me.
I genuinely enjoy meeting people who listen to my program and read my books.
The least-frequent combination at my signing table: mothers and daughters-in-law.
It's very touching when the two most-important women in a man’s life actually like and love each other.
Both realize the importance of each other’s relationship with their man and cooperate instead of compete. Very often both the mother and the wife/girlfriend missed out on a mother/daughter relationship, and in addition to both loving the man they "share" emotionally, they both have found something missing in their own lives and embrace that affection and mutual support.
This scenario has certain requirements.
The mother must be emotionally healthy and basically satisfied with what she has made of her life. The daughter-in-law may not yet be that mature, but if she's respectful and accepts that the relationship is not one of equals, things will probably evolve positively.
Now the other situation is the wife’s mother, the mother-in-law of the husband. Some girls are so unhealthily connected to their mother for support and approval (and sometimes money) that the concept of husband-comes-fi rst is just not in the gray matter.
Additionally, the wife may have a manipulative mother laying a huge amount of inappropriate guilt on her child to be responsible first to mommy and not her husband or children.
I would like to state up front right now that I see "drop-kicking" a mother-in-law as a last resort — but necessary in some situations.
When it's clear that a continued relationship is dangerous or destructive, it is in the best interest of the marriage for there to be severance.
This seems to be a horrifying step for most folks.
What always throws me into a spin with a caller is when they worry about how their child will be without some grandparents. Why would they want their children to experience negativity, criticism, harshness, and lack of warmth?
All this "fear" about the consequences of self-defense is not just from weakness.
Nice people worry about hurting people’s feelings even when the other person should be in the series "Twilight." I spend a lot of time supporting folks who find it difficult to do what will inevitably be their psychological salvation: excommunicating the mother-in-law.
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