Extending Kindness to Family Who've Become Criminally Involved
Many know someone who has become involved in the criminal justice system in some way, whether through substance abuse, mental health issues, association with a deviant peer group, or a combination of negative factors and bad choices.
These individuals do not cease to be a part of their families when they fall from grace.
Yet depending on the offense, the circumstances, and level of danger they present, some level of distance may be necessary.
How do family members balance the equities?
Research presents some factors to consider.
Loved Ones With Criminal Records
Welcoming a family member to the holiday table recently released from jail or prison, often sporting a flashing ankle monitor as a reminder, is complicated.
Loving acceptance is often graciously extended by family members who seek to support their reintegration into society in pursuit of a productive life.
But not all family members are equally gracious. And obviously, it depends on the reason for incarceration, instead of less restrictive sanctions.
Crimes of violence are viewed differently than crimes motivated by financial gain or drug addiction, although motives may overlap.
Sex crimes present some of the most difficult issues of all, relating to risk, restoration, and rehabilitation.
Can history be left in the rearview mirror as family members move forward?
Research reveals some of the challenges.
Balancing Support, Stigma
Preparing a holiday table to host a loved one who is newly released from custody involves strategic setting and seating.
There are different issues to consider for a family member who is recovering from substance abuse versus sex offending.
These differences will include everything from whether alcohol is served to where children are seated.
Although these issues involve proactive preparations that can be complicated and awkward, they are, in many cases, important for the success of both the criminally involved individual, and the family.
Research backs the necessity of trauma-informed support for everyone involved.
Shelley Kavanagh and Jill Levenson (2022) acknowledged the challenge of loving others who have harmed innocent victims in an article, "Supporting Those Who Love the Loathed."
They examined not only the need for compassionate care for offenders, often provided by social workers, but trauma-informed support for family members of registered sex offenders.
One of the most obvious issues presented by hosting a sex offender for the holidays is knowledge of the underlying offense.
There's a big difference between sexual contact with a child and indecent exposure to a stranger on the trolley, although both instances generate stigma and trauma for close family.
Having prosecuted sex offenders for years, also being involved in analyzing which offenders are appropriate to be removed from the state sex offender registry, I can relate to Kavanagh and Levenson’s recognition of the need for trauma-informed tools for enabling effective services and support for what they describe as a "hidden and stigmatized population."
Indeed, for many newly released individuals seeking to create a new life, family support is of utmost importance.
The challenge lies in the way such support is authentically expressed.
Supporting a Fresh Start
Welcoming a criminally involved family member back into the family home, even temporarily, is an exercise in transparency and trust.
Depending on the offense, reintegration will involve everything from removing alcohol and prescription drugs from the cabinets to adult material from the cable television. In every case, reunification requires an objective assessment of risk to ensure personal safety.
Interpersonally, one of the most important aspects of family support is positive communication focused on the future. Some ex-offenders are deeply motivated by faith, focus, and commitment to change, illustrated by the fruit of their labor, because actions speak louder than words.
With optimistic encouragement and inspiration, family members can help loved ones recover their standing in society and trade in their scarlet letters for letters of recommendation, showcasing a changed life dedicated to reintegration through rehabilitation.
This article was originally published in Psychology Today.
Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.
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