While gossiping is typically considered a negative pastime, if done the right way, it can be good for building social connections and relationships. According to Meriam-Webster, to gossip is to talk about the personal lives of other people. In many cases, the talk can be malicious or negative, which experts affirm can cause harm. But the ancient act of dishing behind other people’s backs can be healthy and supportive ─ if it’s done with the right intention.

Gossip has existed since language existed and with today’s many avenues of social media, it’s even more prevalent than in the past. Some experts claim that gossip has helped us evolve by spreading the news about what other people are doing. Even during the pandemic, people gathered as much as possible digitally to share jokes and gossip.

But there’s a fine line between the negative and positive aspects of gossiping.

Positive gossip, such as spreading good news or compliments about someone, can help people connect, support, and learn from each other, Frank J. Sileo, a licensed psychologist and author, told Health. On the flip side, negative gossip, such as spreading rumors, false accusations, or talking about someone in a detrimental way, can harm our own and others’ well-being, Sileo said.

Good gossipers steer clear of malicious talk and don’t spread rumors about others. Bad gossipers use sensitive information to make themselves look good and bolster their own egos at the expense of others.

“Focus on spreading praise, compliments, and truthful, happy news,” says Sileo. Since gossip is an inherent part of our DNA and is a way to bond with other people, learning how to be more positive and supportive with our words can help us become better friends and enhance our social well-being. After all, if you only talk about yourself you’ll become an incredible bore, notes Frank McAndrew, a psychology professor at Knox College in Illinois.