In Maintaining a Happy Romantic Relationship, Timing Matters
When couples walk down the aisle, they pledge their commitment to each other "in good times and in bad." Yet according to research, within a traditional workweek, "good times" often means weekends.
Research explains:
Weekday Warriors
Most weekday workers can relate to the stress of Monday morning, and even the "Sunday blues" that set in when people begin mentally envisioning Monday morning on Sunday afternoon.
Within couples, the shift in emotions may influence how partners treat each other.
Alessio Masturzi et al. (in 2023) examined the difference in couples' functioning during the COVID-19 pandemic from weekdays to the weekend.
They began by noting the difference in psychological well-being between weekdays and weekends, because of the difference in the way they are socially structured.
They observe that as compared to weekdays, weekends afford partners the opportunity to dedicate more time to themselves, their partner, and their families.
Not surprisingly, they note what many people recognize as a practical matter, people are in a better mood during weekends, dubbed the "weekend effect."
They note that research (Helliwell and Wang, 2014) has actually reported that men and married individuals exhibit higher levels of laughter, happiness, and enjoyment on weekends (and during holidays) than on weekdays.
Weekdays, in contrast, and mainly for men, were marked by higher levels of sadness, anxiety, and anger.
Regarding the explanation, Masturzi et al. (ibid.) note that weekends provide more autonomy and less stress, allowing partners to enjoy and have more time for their relationships.
Patterns Promote Permanence
Although their research occurred during the pandemic lockdown, Masturzi et al. (supra) found that the weekly time structure remained the same for partnered individuals.
The only difference was related to stress communication.
They note this stability could stem from the fact that many types of weekly tasks were maintained, while changes were due to challenges related to prolonged cohabitation and lack of traveling, which they note could explain the fact that there were differences only related to stress communication.
Masturzi et al. (supra) suggest steady temporal patterns and routines may satisfy "a basic psychological need for rhythm, organization, and coherence," that exists both in daily life and also in extraordinary circumstances.
Weekday Disposition
How many couples have responded to a partner’s perceived irritability at the Monday night dinner table by assuring him or her that "I understand, I know that you have had a long day."
Apparently, such grace may be limited to the workweek.
Within a traditional Monday through Friday schedule, partners are apparently more inclined to endure negative behavior that occurs during the workweek than on weekends, during which time partners may display less tolerance.
Masturzi et al. (supra) suggest that perhaps during weekdays, partners may be more likely to attribute negative affect to a stressful day and to external circumstances instead of to the relationship itself, resulting in a more benevolent interpretation of bad behavior.
During weekends, however, they suggest that partners may be less inclined to downplay undesirable behavior, and because couples often spend more time together on weekends, they have more opportunities to experience how a partner’s behavior may adversely impact their relationship and personal well-being.
Work Life Blend
Couples struggling with the grind of the workweek might consider interspersing enjoyable activities usually reserved for the weekend.
Schedule permitting, movie nights, sporting events, or even date nights at home can break up the stress of the week.
Weekday bonding can also remind couples of the treasure of quality time together, which might even promote more positive interaction and patience on the weekends.
The preceding article was originally published in Psychology Today and is used with the permission of its author.
Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.
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