Kristi Noem Takes Her Vice Presidential Chances to the Kill Pit

The Lemming Complex Thrives in South Dakota's Governor 

It’s starting to look like the body of Gov. Kristi Noem, R-S.D., is beginning to reject politics. We had our doubts earlier when Noem didn’t stand up to the corporate transgender lobby and vetoed a bill banning "hemales" from playing female sports.

In South Dakota that should have been a slam dunk.

Her recent behavior proves one doesn’t have to travel in the political circles of The Swamp to suffer from an inflated ego.

What came to our attention was the infomercial she did for a Texas cosmetic dentistry company called Smile Texas, that as far as we know, doesn’t have any offices in South Dakota.

The ad opens with Noem — who must not get many campaign contributions from the South Dakota dental community — boasting, "I’m the governor of South Dakota and had the opportunity to come to Smile Texas to fix my teeth, which has been absolutely amazing."

Then follows five minutes starring Noem’s teeth. According to The Hill.com, "Her video was filmed in a commercial-like style that includes close-ups of her teeth, before and after shots of her smile and a dentist working with a patient."

Noem isn’t just content with flashing her new choppers, she thinks Republican voters are hankering for a peek past the molars!

She followed that with another endorsement, this time of a South Dakota business called Fit My Feet that made her custom insoles.

As Noem continues smashing political personal product taboos in her quest for notoriety, we can only hope Kristi’s hemorrhoids don’t start to act up.

Those two missteps were quaint compared to the most recent public relations Chernobyl, courtesy of the governor.

Noem is releasing her memoir, "No Going Back: The Truth on What's Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward."

There Noem describes the heartwarming tale concerning the time she took her 14-month–old dog named "Cricket," which she called "less than worthless," to the killing pit on her ranch and blew the dog’s brains out.

Now we know that on "Yellowstone" (Paramount Network) they’ve been wildly successful taking unwanted creatures to the train station to dispose of the bodies, but no one there is considering running for vice-president.

An important rule of thumb in politics states that if a candidate is on defense, the candidate is losing. Noem’s shaggy dog story is the Stalingrad of campaign anecdotes.

She obviously has an incredibly weak staff that evidently is too naive or too timid to push back against colossally bad ideas.

Trump and Republicans already have a big problem with suburban cat ladies who think GOP candidates are too heartless for a compassionate America.

There is no way "Headshot" Noem will appeal to a demographic that thinks cats are an adequate substitute for children.

Noem has also made herself a nationwide brunt of jokes.

Never a good look for a candidate. And rarely survivable. For details see Mike Dukakis.

Now there is a new/old meme that has an anxious dog with a revolver next to his head. The headline: "If You Don’t Buy this Magazine, Kristi Noem will kill this dog."

Another "charitable" solicitation claims, "For just $.10 a day you can help us save a puppy from Kristi Noem."

And the Babylon Bee (a satirical site) explained, "Kristi Noem Clarifies Killing Puppies Makes Up Only 3 percent Of What She Does."

Within the past few months, we’ve had two disturbed individuals douse themselves with gasoline and end their lives.

Now Kristi Noem has done the same to her political career.

Which may have been, based in an accumulation of incidents, what her subconscious really wanted.

Just step back from the spotlight and get to shooting dogs and putting down horses.

Noem’s vice presidential chances had evidently survived an earlier media scandal when she was accused of conducting an affair with handsy and controversial Trump adviser Corey Lewandowski.

That crisis is almost a year old now, she denied it at the time and Trump legal issues were sucking up all the political news story oxygen.

The coast was almost clear when Noem decided to stage her production of "New Yeller."

But the combination of the two could make for one more classic headline: "Lewandowski Dodged a Bullet."

Michael Reagan, the eldest son of President Reagan, is a Newsmax TV analyst. A syndicated columnist and author, he chairs The Reagan Legacy Foundation. Michael is an in-demand speaker with Premiere speaker's bureau. Read Michael Reagan's Reports — More Here.

Michael R. Shannon is a commentator, researcher for the League of American Voters, and an award-winning political and advertising consultant with nationwide and international experience. He is author of "Conservative Christian's Guidebook for Living in Secular Times (Now With Added Humor!)" Read Michael Shannon's Reports — More Here.